Sunday, October 5, 2008 - 12:43 AM
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Okay hi people.. Back with updates once again..This post is purely a story abt some lessons i have learned.. U can choose not to read this post if u not intrested.. Scroll down for other updates... Okay so let me begin my story time.. I m gg to blog about somethings which happened recently.. Yahh, true... Its friends again.. Dun u guys think i m having so much of problems with friends or no maybe it should be FRIEND??
Firstly she has been my friend since primary school.. We landed in same sec sch and now its abt her.. Her name is, sorry to protect her identity, so i aint saying but many should have know.. It starts with a YOU and not forgetting a D at the back..
She has been a good friend?? Wait.. A question to think twice before i ans.. Not all the time, neither is it most of the time... Okay let me get straight to the point....
17/07... A day to rmb... It was her b'dae.. So its like during that period of time i was already not in gd terms with her..We always end up quarreling and i m the one who gives in most of the time.. [Think before u react] So nvm, i was still having faith in making our friendship better.. So being her birthday i gt her a cute hamster.. I spend nearly $60 on it.. [Money is not important to me].. So it was like, i delievered it to her house.. That was my first time ever giving a friend a pet as a birthday gift.. Why i gave her a hamster?? She loved hamster and she knew very well how to take care of it... Nearly a month passed and it seems that the hamster was injured and I WAS INFORMED by her... So we were discussing if to bring it to the VET.. After much rumination we dropped the idea.. I went over to her house twice or thrice to look at it.. It was running happily and was prefectly fine.. My mind was at ease... After a few days.. I and her quarrelled again.. This time my fault?? Half half i would say.. [But i had my points for doing what i did] So things weren't very good between both parties.. I tried giving in but was of not much use.. After a while we were OKAY! When it was my birthday, we quarrel.. She started giving me attitude.. And best thing was on my b'dae, she was not giving me face. [Think again did u?] Soon things didnt get any better, but she started typing out at her blog abt me using harsh words.. [Didnt u?] I tried giving in once again.. I smsed her once again out of concern.. And this time, she replied me in a very fustrated way.. When i asked "How are euu?" I received reply like " Why u still care for me when u said u dun wan care???" So i started getting angry and yahh i started not to bother abt her.. U know why?? Cause its when i care too much and its taken for granted.. [Dun u think so?] Days passed.. We see each other in school daily but we were invisible to each other.. Since i haven been really turning up for school often for the last two weeks, i was really updated abt her.. I would just drop smses to others and know how she was doing.. Then last week was the best part... My ring was returned to me.. It was with her but it was not suppose to be with her.. I dunno why it landed with her, so she passed it to my friend and i gt it back.. So yahh kinda missed my ring too.. Anyway the next day, i was late for school.. And i received a msg for my gd friend KL! KL sms me telling me that SHE [YOU] wanted me to take back my basketball which was at her house, if not she was going to throw it away.. Being in the morning and i was late for school, i replied in a more harsh way.. I told her to throw my basketball away tgt with the hamster.. [U must be thinking why i asked u throw the hamster, read on]... I had a bad feeling something happened to the hamster as she did not mentioned abt it at all.. And guess what reply i received from KL? "The hamster die already!" I was stunted for that moment.. I was like WHAT? Yahh and i was not wrong, indeed something did happen to the hamster.. It was dead.. Reason was not said... When it died was not even said.. I receive no reply from friends when i asked them.. So the next day i decided to sms her and like expected, NO REPLY.. Then went online, i asked and expected, NO REPLY.. And to find out the cause of the death and when it died, i called her mum.. And her mum said, the hamster was running and out of a sudden it died.. And it passed away on 11th sep?? I dunno... I was informed only on 16th sep! Which was like 5 days after it passed away.. I mean when the hamster was injured, She informed me.. But when its gone she didnt.. She didnt even blogged abt it.. I wasnt accusing her of not taking care but she infer too much that i did accuse her [Didnt you?].. Seriously i dunno what to do already.. I loved the hamster alot and i gave it to her knowing she would look after it.. And the reason for its death is because it commited suicide.. That was what i know when i read her blog.. I mean was it like difficult to send me a sms telling its dead?? I would have cum and take it.. I have never thrown dead pets away.. NEVER! I wanted to bury the hamster too but u know what?? Was a little too late.. No it was very very late... It was thrown away.. Where is it now? Thrown..
Now i aint saying everything is your fault but u are.. U are blaming everything to me.. I knew our friendship was never stable and it was sucks! But i mean this is gotta deal with a life... I know its not a human but it still have something called LIFE in it.. If u didnt wanted it, u should have give me back... U didnt even had feelings towards it... I mean even when it was dead, u did not even shed a tear, u did not have any feelings to it.. From here can i say u are heartless?? Can i say u are evil?? I dunno lei.. U wanted to know why i started provoking euu?? It was the anger in me! Seriously anger was all i felt towards you... I hated u the moment i knew the hamster was dead and u did not inform me.. Seriously i was.. Hey c'mon let's be frank here... Anyone who is reading this post, if it was u in my situation wont u feel hatred?? Anger??
I didnt ask Ms ST to apporoach u at all.. But when she did approach u and talk to u, for that few mins standing there, u know what i feel?? U never changed... Seriously u didnt.. U were taking back all the things u were angry abt me and say back.. But i wasnt like u.. When i talked to Ms ST i was not telling her how much i hate u but i was telling her how sad i was to the death of the hamster.. From this, u can see how different we are?? U will never know.. Cause everything JYOTHI does is never good, was never good and will never be good.. Whatever i did was something evil, something cruel to you.. U didnt think how much i was willing to do it..
I aint typing this out to gain sympathy from euu or show u how i treated u.. I just wan others to imagine being like me, how will they feel.. I can gurantee you, that after reading this post, u still will never realise how much i loved the hamster.. U will just feel more anger towards me.. I aint surprise lahh.. I know u too well already...
So now i m saying to all readers.. Its not wrong to have friends, BUT dun be too nice to a friend! Cause u will end up getting hurt over,over and YES! Before u know again the blow will arrive...
Now to think abt it... I aint gg to think already.. Its blocked.. Cause its when i m tired trying to prefect things... I totally agree with what Ms ST said, "A person will nvr treasure u when u with them, they will only realise and start thinking when the person leaves." Now when i m always giving in, u take advantage.. One day it will become too late till u know, how much u tried will nvr help...
To say truthfully, i prefer now.. When we hardly see each other, dun even talk a single word.. Dun u think u have less headache?? Cause whenever i start to talk there will be fights.. Whenever u are down and when i tried consoling u, i was a fool! I tried my best to console u but instead of even getting a thanks, what i received from u was " U will make things worse." U didnt even think abt how much i tried but instead u were saying how lousy i was.. If me admitting in the hospital and not telling u was a big issuse, what abt u nt even informing me the hamster was dead?? Can i make a big fuss out of it?? Hais.. U know what, seriously i m at the verge.. U told me to have a pause now... GOOD! And u know what i dun think the play button will ever function in the future.. Cause its when u make i realise all i did this while was useless... Regretting?? Seriously i m regretting...
U never took the good times we had tgt but u keep taking the bad things i did... U never thought how much we laughed and go crazy.. But instead u took the scolding more seriously.. U never taught of how much i help u when u were in deep soup.. U never thought of how i fight back for euu when everyon was against u but instead u took JYOTHI AS BAD PERSON.. Seriously u know what i wanna say.... THX! I have been a fool...
U never knew how much i was in love with it...
